Tinkering with Love – DV Survivor Stories
March 22nd, 2024
By Savannah Verdon, Development Manager
Content Warning: This story contains a brief reference to suicide. If you or a loved one is in crisis, please dial 988 in the United States for support.
We often think of domestic violence as only occurring between intimate partners or between parents and children of all ages, but where there are close relationships of any kind, there can be abuse. Sasha* never thought it would come from her brother – nor from their uncle to her children.
What began as an act of kindness quickly devolved into a nightmare for Sasha, her two young children, and their loving kitty, Tinker*.
“Tinker has been with me and my children for nine years. My son didn’t speak until four due to brain injuries; Tinker was the only one he showed affection to. We came to this state to help my brother through rehabilitation. I did not realize his mental health condition had become so severe. We were walking on eggshells trying to stay out of his way, not do anything to upset him, but we have suffered verbal and emotional abuse.”
As small as they tried to make themselves to stay safe, it was never small enough. Sasha decided she could no longer stay and expose her children to their uncle’s behavior after a particularly traumatizing incident. They had a brief window of time to escape but it would mean leaving Tinker behind for now, something she hoped would not spell more trauma for her family.
“My brother tried to commit suicide in front of my children, saying it was because they left doors open and were too loud. He has been hospitalized temporarily and he will be released as soon as tomorrow, pending psychiatric evaluations. I have since sought shelter for myself and my 8- and 9-year-olds. The shelter does not allow pets, so I had to leave Tinker at the house. As my brother will be released tomorrow, I have since gotten all of our belongings out of the home and Tinker is all that’s left. She has been our emotional support animal through many transitions and is more like part of the family than a pet. She understands our emotions and is very affectionate. This is my children’s baby. She is part of the family and she has taught my children responsibility.”
She arrived at the domestic violence shelter with an urgent need to protect Tinker even if they weren’t together. There was no way to know if her brother might act once he returned home and realized his sister had left. If his mental health had stabilized, would he still be angry? If it hadn’t, would he hurt Tinker to hurt Sasha? The situation was too unpredictable, so she came to her shelter advocate looking for guidance.
After learning of the harrowing circumstances that led to her family fleeing and their one-of-a-kind bond with Tinker that demanded she be safe too, the advocate helped Sasha apply for a RedRover Relief Safe Escape grant. For so long she had been walking on eggshells, but once she learned her grant was approved and Tinker would be safely boarded, she could put her feet firmly on the ground knowing they would carry her and her family to their next chapter.
Tinker was a beloved resident at the boarding facility and the staff were happy to see her reunited with Sasha and the children. Her 60-day stay, and the Safe Escape grant that made it possible, gave Sasha the time she needed to secure a safe, loving home where their family could heal. Not only will Tinker be there for Sasha and her children through this next transition, but for every transition the children will experience as they and Tinker grow older together.
We are thankful for Survivor Stories like these and the families kept whole by a RedRover Relief Safe Escape grant. We are glad to know that, as a part of our compassionate community, you are committed to protecting pets and families. Thank you!
P.S. The RedRover Relief Safe Escape grant program is in dire need as more survivors depend on us and the cost of an individual grant continues to rise. If you are moved by Sasha and Tinker’s story and want to protect more families like theirs, please consider donating to make a Safe Escape possible for every survivor.
*Names have been changed to protect privacy
